lets just be clear, if you spend the time baking a cake/cookies/brownies, you can eat as many of them as you want and the calories don’t count. you made those calories. you’re their god.
disclaimer: this does not apply to children you have made
Looking at you, Cronus.
i remember until i was ten, i spelt ‘satin’ like ‘satan’ and i went to a christian school and they called my parents because i wrote ‘satan is soft like a bunny’ and they wanted the priest to talk to me
Satan is glad you appreciate the effort.
Satan uses Garnier Fructis to lock in moisture.
I JUST LOST MY SHIT
Aries: self-centred competitive cunts but still sweet
Taurus: nice as heck but dont show much emotions and eat a way too much
Gemini: smooth lunatic manipulative assholes but geniuses
Cancer: dependant, emotionally unstable lullabies and probably the nicest persons you know
Leo: most generous and selfish at the same time attention whores
Virgo: steady fuckers that probably have an OCD
Libra: double-faced childish bitches but they know how to look good tho
Scorpio: paranoid psychos that think about dry humping all day long
Sagittarius: funny but rude, one night stands big winner
Capricorn: cold-hearted motherfuckers without any social skills
Aquarius: weird hipsters that always try to sound deep and different but VERY open-minded
Pisces: sensible compulsive liars, daydreamers and super gentle but hypocrites
A muggleborn and pureblood couple having their first child and the pureblood not knowing about ultrasounds so they don’t understand why their partner is dragging them to a muggle doctor until they get there and suddenly they see a physical picture of their newborn child and hear it’s little heartbeat and it’s better than any magic they’ve ever seen.
when you know a word in english but not your native language
when there’s no english equivalent to a word from your native language and vice versa
accidentally switching between your native language and english in a sentence
hearing someone speak your native language when you’re on vacation on some weird ass country
Thats exactly how i feel